How often do you look back at it?
Your journey, your life, your story?
I have been here 22.8 years. That’s 272 months. Approximately: 1,185 weeks; 8,300 days; 497,952 hours.
Mine, has been nothing short of a magnificent love story between God and I.
So many transcendent moments that serve as reminders of just how much grace I have received, how much work I have put into becoming the woman that I am, phenomenal.
Some ask: So, how do you learn to love yourself? How does this love manifest from wounds so sore borne from the darkness in my heart?
I have never been entirely able to give an accurate answer. Quite frankly, I am not sure that I can. Not precisely. I realise that the journey is different for each of us. No self love story is the same because there is only one self.
The silhouette is however close to standard.
How do you learn to love yourself?
You own your story.
However amazing. However messy. However heartbreaking. However heart mending. However peaceful. However chaotic. However disappointing. However satisfactory. However joyful. However tearful. However certain. However confusing. However similar. However different.
You say, “This is my story. In totality. It needs no editing. This is me.”
Begin with this: own your story. Be okay with who you are.
Acceptance unlocks contentment. Joy. Courage. If anything needs changing keep in mind that you cannot change what you refuse to take ownership of.
Do not be afraid to dig deep and confront your scars. Beyond the darkness is so much light, and it is worth every bit of the struggle.
Stop fighting your soul.
Stop looking for love. You have always had love. You are love.
Open your heart to the gold mine within.
Rid yourself of everything that weighs you down.
Anything that doesn’t serve you, let it go. Anything that stands in the way of you falling in love with your life, let it go. Anything that makes you feel difficult to love, let go of. Travel light.
Your thoughts, your words are powerful.
What is your self narrative?
I was created to be exactly who I am. More than that, I choose everyday, to be me. To be the most appreciative and loving version of myself. To be whole.
I acknowledge my need for growth without dampening the glory of my being.
I appreciate both the work and the progress because I know. I know that I am a work in progress, striving to progress.
I have learnt through storms in my heart and clouds in my eyes to love all parts of me; including the parts that people do not sing praises on.
I am dancing. Dancing on solid ground tarmacked by my truth. Shielded by the love I give. Moulded by the life He breathes into me.
The moment I decided to stop wallowing in self rejection, I made acquaintance with self liberation. Thing about revolutions, they are not always pretty. Not even the personal ones. But that’s just it. They are not supposed to be. It is what it is: real. It is a journey. I am travelling on a road paved with more potholes than I would like to count, humbling speed bumps and the most poetic, healing and empowering scenery. Each of which I need.
As I grow older, I become more protective of me: Who I am, who I was and who I will be.
I make mistakes, everyday. I get disappointed, everyday. I fall short, every. single. day. I sometimes take the wrong turn. I can be a lot more difficult than I need to be. I am not always on my A game. However, I always have one foot in front of the other.
I get UP. I show UP. I work UP. Upwards and onwards. Sometimes, it is that simple.
Your story unfolds to the beat of every step you take.
Allow yourself to live big. To grow and evolve. Evolve past the hurt. Different seasons will require a different you. Evolve past your former self.
Love on yourself boo. Love on yourself. Love on yourself. I cannot say it enough.
Practice self compassion. Allow yourself to feel but do not be controlled by your emotions. Set goals. Work smart. Be silly. Take deep breaths. Inhale the good. Exhale the negative. When you fall, know that it is okay. It is okay. Pick yourself up. Do not heed comparison. Pray. Meditate. Give yourself the understanding you seek. The comfort you desire. Eat well. Exercise. Laugh, from the heart. Build safe spaces. Spaces that fill you up. Take responsibility. Believe in yourself. Hold yourself up to a high standard. Care for you. Take yourself on dates. Walk in your truth. Speak more. Rest in your solitude. Have fun. Set your own rules. Relax. Recognise the God in you.
You are self that exists in a world of others. Know that you attract the real ones when you are authentic. You are not made for everyone. When people make premature conclusions about you, do not bother with trying to prove yourself to them. Save your energy for those patient enough to learn who you truly are. Do not let people’s perceptions define you either. Stop. Stop seeking approval. Believe that you are loveable. Anger and grudges are poison: do not invite them in at any cost. Set your focus on the love you receive. Send people on with love: it lifts a huge burden off you. Travel light. Smile. Be kind: A source of good energy to those who have the privilege of knowing you.
A genuine heart ultimately attracts genuine connections. Like attracts like. Love attracts love.
In the face of rejection? Expand. Be more and not less you.
These, bloomer, are petals of self love.
How do you learn to love yourself?
Every morning: wake up and choose to be you in all your divine perfection.
PS: These soul soothing words by Nayyirah Waheed changed things for me.
Love and Love,