There is something about the unfamiliar that understandably throws us off (to varying extents). Whether it is having to leave your job, repeating a year of university, graduating, ending a relationship, letting go of a toxic friendship, moving cities-change is imminent. It really is the only constant.
In my first blog postever, I discussed how resistant I was to change. I disliked and feared it so much that my response was a standard cycle of denial, wallowing and non-movement. Though I wouldn’t say that I am quite in a passionate love affair with the idea or reality of change, I have come a long way. I am at the point where my response to change is, “Okay, what next?” I have learnt to perceive disappointments as setups rather than setbacks. Setups for something greater. Something that I do not even realise I need but the way God’s grand plan for my life is set up, this is how it must go. And really, at least I now know what is not meant for me, right? I am one door closer to the dream.
The only obstacle between you and a strong fallback game is your mindset.
There are a couple of truths that have helped me embrace change a lot quicker by keeping me grounded in what is. Five questions you should be asking yourself in light of change are:
What exactly am I feeling; where is my head at?
What can I learn from this experience?
How can I turn this around for the better?
What should my next step be?
What am I grateful for? (List down at least 5 things)
Constantly remind yourself of and get strength from the answers to these questions because your feelings may not immediately change. While it is completely okay and normal to feel disappointed and discouraged, how you feel should not keep you from moving forward.
Live beyond your feelings.
The faster you accept and acclimatise to change, the sooner you open yourself up to the beauty that fills the cracks. Acceptance is key: of the situation as much as how it makes you feel. I always say, give yourself a “grace period”: some time to feel and deal but not too long that you stand defeated. Enough to come to terms with the change without it getting distractive. Whether that is two hours, two days, two months depends entirely on the situation and you.
The only movement you should ever make is forward.
PS: I’ll be sharing a review of a change-enlightening book early next week.